Zombies Don’t Wear Pants

Posted: February 8, 2012 in Writing
Tags: , , ,

Hey I wrote something!! It’s a bit of short fiction, I hope you enjoy it.

Zombies Don’t Wear Pants

August 23:

I was careless today, I got bit. I was out on a restocking mission and found the mother lode in an untouched grocery store. I didn’t see the zombie until it was too late. I was able to pull away, but he scraped my forearm before I disconnected his brain. That was enough: his teeth broke the skin. I pulled out my peroxide and emptied the full bottle over the wound hoping to kill the saliva before it entered the bloodstream. I then bandaged it up tight and gathered up as much food as I could before I headed back to the house. I’m hoping I was successful in killing the virus. I should know in the morning.

August 24:

I took the bandage off this morning and cleaned the wound. It’s not good. The wound has already started to blacken and spread up my arm. I’ll have to break the news to Jen and get her ready to move with the kids before the virus overtakes me.

Jen took the news better than I expected, but I caught her sobbing in the back room later in the day.  While the kids were busy playing quietly, I began packing the equipment, food and clothing into the van. I also transferred all the gas, weapons and ammo.

I cut a branch from one of the trees and sharpened it to a point. I placed the branch in the bathroom for later.
My fever started around noon, I had to take numerous breaks before I finished packing everything. I have also started vomiting out my insides. I lost two waist sizes in three hours and have tightened my belt 5 times to keep my pants up. This is a great diet, but the side effects will kill you, lol.

By dinner the vomiting had subsided. It was hard to stand; the pain ran from the wound on my arm all the way up and into my chest and brain. I almost passed out three times just sitting at the table. I did not eat.

We put the kids to bed early, I gave each of them a hug, and their scent calmed the pain in my brain. I fought the temptation to take a bite.

August 25:

I stayed in the bathroom, locked away just in case I turned overnight. I am still here and aware, but probably not for long. It’s getting hard to write. Overnight blood began to seep from my mouth, ears, eye sockets, and other orifices. I’m not sure if I lost all of my blood, if not I don’t have much left. Jen knocked and I answered, but when she opened the door and saw me she slammed it closed and locked it. I pulled myself up and looked into the mirror, I did not look good.

I asked Jen to get me some clean clothes and get out. She left with the kids soon after, I heard them screaming and crying to see me, as they were dragged into the van. I felt a tear roll down my cheek, but it was just more blood. I slowly and painfully took off my bloodied clothing and put on the clean set Jen had thrown in earlier. I’ve set the sharpened stick under my chin. Contrary to popular myth and all the old movies about zombies, most of them don’t wear pants, some don’t even have underwear. I’ve pulled my belt painfully tight around my waist, just in case the stick doesn’t work.

Copyright © 2011 J. Power
All rights reserved.

  1. louisesor says:

    A little known fact revealed. A different take.
    Excellent story. I’d love to hear more.

  2. Damn … this is bad. You should really approach one of the Steven’s in Hollywood. (Maybe a Seagal or Guttenberg – refrain from contacting the Spielberg stable, just yet.)

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